Hitting 'Rock Bottom'
I began my career as a dance teacher in the fitness and leisure industry. During this time I trained to be a primary school teacher and was teaching over 350 children and adults per week. I got married, got divorced, watched as my mothers illness Huntington’s disease progressed, tried to come to terms with being at 50% risk of inheriting the disease aka ‘The Armageddon’ of illnesses and endured a series of very painful experiences surrounding relationships. My whole life was surrounded by goal chasing, achieving great things and being the perfect person… However I still wasn’t happy. Not deep deep down. So many things left me feeling rejected and I couldn’t understand why. I soon found myself at what I call ‘rock bottom’. It was whilst discussing said ‘rock bottom’ with a dear friend and spiritualist, I was opened up to the idea that all the fall backs in my life were potentially due to feeling ‘unworthy’, or ‘less of a woman’ for being at risk of this illness. I had pressured myself into being perfect in every aspect of my life so people would love me the same as everyone else, and I had forgotten to love the most important person; myself. The realisation that this could be true was a bitter pill to swallow. How could it all be a cycle?